Therapy as a Practice, Not a Fix: What Progress Actually Looks Like
- Orli Paling
- 7 hours ago
- 4 min read
What does real progress in therapy look and feel like?
Many people begin therapy with clear goals in mind. They may hope to feel better quickly, gain clarity, or experience noticeable change right away. While those hopes are understandable, real progress in therapy often unfolds much more slowly than expected.
Therapy works best when it’s approached as a practice, not a solution that arrives all at once. Early sessions often focus on identifying overarching goals and understanding what brought you to therapy in the first place. From there, the work becomes more gradual and intentional.
Progress tends to happen in small, meaningful steps. Big goals are broken down into smaller, achievable ones so that change feels possible rather than overwhelming. Over time, these small shifts begin to add up.
Real progress might look like:
Setting a boundary where you previously stayed silent
Saying no when you would usually say yes
Being more selective about where you put your time or energy
Noticing your emotions sooner instead of being caught off guard
These changes may not feel dramatic, but they are significant. Often, they take time before you fully recognize how much has shifted.
Why do I sometimes feel worse before I feel better?
It’s common for people to feel unsettled at certain points in therapy, especially as the work deepens. When therapy begins, many clients arrive guarded. Protective strategies that helped you cope in the past may still be very present, and that makes sense.
Trust develops slowly. It can take weeks, months, or even longer to feel safe enough in the therapeutic relationship to explore more vulnerable emotions and experiences. That process can stir discomfort before relief becomes noticeable.
As therapy progresses, you may begin touching on feelings or memories that haven’t had space to be acknowledged before. This can temporarily increase emotional intensity as you’re moving through something that needs care and attention.
It’s also important to remember that feeling better doesn’t always come from avoiding difficult emotions. Sometimes it comes from finally being able to sit with them in a supportive, contained way. With time, processing leads to integration, and integration creates relief.
How can I tell if therapy is working?
It’s natural to want reassurance that therapy is helping. While “trust the process” is often said, it can be more grounding to look for concrete signs of change in your day-to-day life.
You might ask yourself:
Do certain situations feel more manageable than they did before?
Am I responding differently to stress or conflict?
Do I feel more capable in areas of my life that matter to me?
Have there been shifts in my relationships, communication, or boundaries?
Progress often shows up as increased awareness. You may notice patterns sooner or pause before reacting in ways that once felt automatic. You might feel more confident advocating for yourself or more attuned to what you need.
These signs don’t always appear all at once. Instead, they emerge gradually as therapy as a practice begins to shape how you relate to yourself and others.
A common myth: “If I need therapy again, it means it didn’t work the first time”
This belief is both common and deeply misleading.
Therapy is often viewed as something we turn to only during crises. However, many other forms of care like massage, physiotherapy, or regular exercise are approached as ongoing maintenance for wellbeing. Therapy can be viewed the same way.
Life changes. New stressors arise. Relationships shift. Returning to therapy doesn’t mean something went wrong before. It often means you’re responding thoughtfully to your current needs.
The effectiveness of therapy is closely tied to the therapeutic relationship. That relationship deepens with consistency and regular contact. When therapy is part of an ongoing rhythm, it often becomes a steady anchor, something supportive rather than reactive.
Over time, sessions may feel less like problem-solving and more like maintenance, reflection, and recalibration. Many people notice that therapy begins to feel as integral to their wellbeing as other forms of self-care.
Therapy as a practice, not a destination
Therapy doesn’t aim to make life perfect or remove all challenges. Instead, it helps you build capacity: capacity to notice, to respond, to choose, and to care for yourself with more intention.
Progress looks different for everyone. It’s rarely linear. Some weeks feel lighter, others heavier. What matters is the overall direction you’re moving in and the tools you’re building along the way.
When therapy is treated as a practice, it becomes less about reaching an endpoint and more about learning how to show up for yourself with steadiness and compassion.
Orli is a Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC) with over 12 years of experience helping hundreds of clients find long-term sustainable recovery from addiction. She is passionate about providing a safe space for her clients to explore the deepest parts of themselves so they can experience the freedom of living as authentically as possible. Research shows that we develop additional dopamine and serotonin receptors when we’re in meaningful connection with others so if you or someone you know is struggling with addiction or ADHD, please reach out because connection is the foundation of recovery.
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